To Quit Or Not To Quit: That is the old question?????

I had a hard time with this post. I want to quit smoking and there is no good excuse for not quitting. This is where the addiction comes in.

I ignore: what that cigarette does to me as I inhale it.
I do not think: about what my health will be like in the future because I can not see it now.
I ignorantly sit: in my clouds of cigarette smoke high on chemicals and poison.




I DO NOT THINK ABOUT IT PERIOD!!!


Then:

I complain: about everything that cigarette does to me financially, healthwise, etc




Today I read Raven's blog http://ravensviews.blogspot.com/

The poem she wrote about cigarettes was beautiful because I am one of her friends who is trying to quit. For me it shows she cares about me and that is truly a beautiful thing.




Also here is a poem I wrote a while back.

Have you ever dwelled on the regrets that hold you back and just finally shared everything with someone? Well this poem is about just that. How I tortured myself over things I could not control. I hope you enjoy reading it!!

Rebirth

Into the depths of my mind

The deep blue sea exhales upon the shore

The crimsen moon is full,

As if painted with the blood of me.

Memories of the past haunt this sacred place,

It's wrath shall seal my fate

Upon the shore I lay,

Looking to the night sky

The stars stare,

the eyes of the universe are upon me,

Welcome to my mind,

Come, Sit here beside me.

Listen to what I must say,

I have a long journey ahead,

And my soul is filled with sorrow.

The hourglass is on its side,

and my thoughts are very sad.

When the sands lay still,

then I'll be dead.

I came here in innocence,

Now I am filled with sin.

I know more now than ever,

but carry these burdens forever.

My joy,

my sadness,

my secrets,

my years here.

My lies exist no more.

The truth reveals my innocence,

I leave behind the old.

Unravelled from my shell,

I ascend to the next plane,

and when your time has come,

we shall meet again.

By Joseph D. Apollo Jr.

A Day Like Any Other

Today I have spinned off into the past. Reliving my childhood and living in the memories that seem so precious. A time when everything was uncertain and the world was for the taking. I have a very complex veiw of my childhood. I can remember being happy but also scared to speak most of the time. I lived in fear of my father but loved him all the same. I was always so nice and willing to help out in anyway I could. People have told me that I am too nice and care about how others are feeling too much. To me this is not a bad thing, except when - like me - it takes over your life. Balance is something I seem to have trouble with, I seem to take it to the extreme too much or too little.

Here is a poem I wrote last fall. for me its about war.


Faith and Despair

I stand here among the clouds and watch
I see but do nothing
I hear but cannot speak
I open my mouth but only the screams creep out
Justice truly is blind
Some shadow of what was casts its presence
And the banshees screams travel from a distant shore
The blood thats pooled upon the ground
The thousands that lay before me
Souls in torture
Minds in disarray
Lives...
Lives that once were lived
Touch, the hands that once felt
Smell, the nose that was once was filled with fragrence
Taste, The lips and tongue that once were pressed with another
Sight, The eyes that once saw beauty
Hear, The ears that once heard magic and hope
Sorrow is left
Our protectors, our friends, our loved ones, our children
Pride is left
Hope is left
Faith is left

By Dan Apollo

Reality Phases Me

Well I've hit a bit of a dry spell. My busy life has given me writers block. There seems to be no time to live in the clouds. It seems the older I get the harder it is to be in my own fantasies. Which is wierd because I've always been able to be in my own world no matter where I am. I must be going through one of those yucky phases where reality and my reality cross paths. Which for me is not a bad thing to have the cloud cover clear every now and then. At least it allows me to observe my surroundings.

I do apologize to those who have posted comments and I have not responded yet (I am working on this). I want to thank everyone for the comments on my poem and about my birthday which did turn out a bit better than I thought.

With that said here is a poem that I forgot about. It seems to bring me peace in this busy world.

Ocean of Forms
by Rabindranath TagoreI

Dive down into the depth of the ocean of forms,
hoping to gain the perfect pearl of the formless.
No more sailing from harbor to harbor with this my weather-beaten boat.

The days are long passed when my sport was to be tossed on waves.
And now I am eager to dive into the deathless.

Into the audience hall by the fathomless abyss
where swells up the music of toneless strings
I shall take this harp of my life.

I shall tune it to the notes of forever,
and when it has sobbed out its last utterance,
lay down my silent harp at the feet of the silent

My Birthday

Today I turned 29 and I am not having the best day. The man I expect to spend the rest of my days with cannot be with me due to family issues. Today I feel depressed and am wallowing in self pity. On another note: I got a very pleasant surprise in my email. Raven has taken my poem and made it look beautiful as a birthday gift, thank you raven. It is in these times that I wish I can truly live on a cloud.

My first post

Well this is my first post Raven will be proud. Today is a day like any other nothing new except for this blog obviously lol. My birthday is in a couple of days and I will be 29 yikes where did the time go. So I suppose I should post a writing. This is a poem I wrote not that long ago and its actually fitting with my blog title so enjoy.

My Cloud

My cloud is spacious
With Room enough for one
The wonders I seek
The security i desire
All wrapped in ignorance
My mountains of things
My rose colored glasses
They all float on with me
Today I fly with the birds
Tomorrow I sit on a rose
admiring the bees
My cloud is within grasp
like a parallel universe
a vision of what could be
But oh what a feeling
riding in on a december snowflake
or gliding on the rays of a summer sun
The pure joy I live in puzzles me
when reality registers
oh the pain of reality
like razors cutting
exposing the real underneath
but my cloud awaits
the daydream never dies
and reality awaits me in another day.